


Good Enough

by TwistedRocketPower



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 06:41:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedRocketPower/pseuds/TwistedRocketPower
Summary: “Nobody else can make you happy. That’s something you’ve got to do yourself. Love yourself, and then other people will love you.”That’s what Dan had been told his whole life. He figured that’s why he never had any friends. He couldn’t figure out how to love who he was. He couldn’t make himself do it.





	Good Enough

“Nobody else can make you happy. That’s something you’ve got to do yourself. Love yourself, and then other people will love you.”

That’s what Dan had been told his whole life. He figured that’s why he never had any friends. He couldn’t figure out how to love who he was. He couldn’t make himself do it.

He’d try. He’d try to look in the mirror and like the person he saw. But he was always lying to himself.

Behind the forced, “You look fine, you’re doing okay, you’ll figure life out,” was, “You’re ugly, you’re lazy, and you’ll never succeed.”

The idea that he’d never have any sort of happiness with anyone else until he was perfectly happy with himself left him feeling a level of sadness he didn’t know was possible.

Even after he met Phil, even after they became inseparable, he still didn’t feel as though he deserved the slightest bit of love.

He was bitter and angry, because even though his career was fairly successful, he was still filled with endless worry, dread, and self-hatred.

Every time Phil would give him a hug, or tell him he loved him, or just listen to him while he talked, Dan would get a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. There was no way someone else could really love him when he still hated himself.

 

As the years passed, the moments of self-hatred went from being a full-time job, to an occasional annoyance that may cause him to waste a day here and there. The days spent trying to fight his inner demons turned into filming for the gaming channel, having Mario Kart battles, and chats at three o’clock in the morning on the couch.

Hours of lying on his bed, crying over insignificant things, turned into laughing so hard he’d fall out of his chair and, a few times, nearly wet himself.

The doubts in his head were drowned out by the sounds of thousands of fans screaming his name as best friend stood beside him.

Without ever realizing it, he had stopped hating himself. 

He did realize, however, that he was not the first one to be okay with who he was. Phil had won that spot many years ago.

It seemed that years of someone giving you reassurances that you’re enough in their eyes helps you to become okay with yourself.

It wasn’t all Phil that led him to become a better, more positive person; Phil was quick to remind Dan of that. Dan had worked hard and grown up, and this was all part of that. 

Still, some days were tough, and others near impossible. But even then, he had someone to remind him that while he may not feel great right now, he was always good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've always been told that if I didn't love myself, no one else would ever be able to. As I grew up, I realized that's not completely true, so I just wanted to write a tiny fic about it with Dan and Phil.  
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> tumblr: softgolftechniques


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